Upside Down

I heard a hesitant knock on my door. I opened it. I was startled to see you. It was so good to see you. Walking with you was so very good, but frightening. I wish we could walk together like that and laugh like that forever. I wish we could have always then... and not focussed on what we couldn't do together. I still love you. I feel a little upside down today. Seeing you always does that to me. It makes me remember how much I miss you. I am glad we can be friends though, it makes it a little more bearable.

Stab myself in the back

I know that the things that go wrong in my life are because of me. Mind over matter. I know this... yet I still stab myself in the back. Hopefully soon, I will learn enough to stop. The stab wounds in my back never stop bleeding.