Why do you use the same dagger over and over?

You know it hurts me.
You know it does not help you in the long run.
So why do you keep shooting yourself in the foot?
You know it hurts me.
You know there is more to this world than black and white.
Thousands of colours between your silly spectrum.
So why do you keep painting with the same brush?
You know that I see every colour.
You know who I am.
You tell me that you love the person that I am.
So why do you keep telling me how wrong it is what I do?
You know that my beliefs are important to me.
You know that I love you.
You know that I want to make this work.
So why do you keep stabbing me with the same dagger?
It hurts more every time.
One of these times I will walk away with it.
I won't come back, and the dagger will be permanently mine.

Today I saw something that made me rage....

Have you ever seen something skinned alive? Have you looked into the eyes of a creature who's outer shell has been stripped away? Have you seen the pain and suffering of something so beautiful and confused that has now been tortured needlessly? I have. I have seen the eyes of a beautiful tiny fox.... glossy with pain and confusion.... after it has been skinned alive. After it's most basic protection has been taken from it for human frivolty. So some fucking rich society slutt can prance around in it's fur and pretend that class is something that comes from 'things'. But,class has nothing to do with 'things'. Class has nothing to do with money. Class has nothing to do with power. It has everything to do with having a concience and conducting yourself like a being on this planet. Not a monster. Without a concience our society has no need to worry about silly things such as 'ethics', 'morality', 'fairness' and 'compassion'. I am so fucking tired of the blindfolds people walk around with over their eyes. Pretending not to notice... or using denial as a self preservation tool so real issues do not have to be discussed. In the entire scheme of things.... skinning a helpless animal alive does not even register on the scale of fucked up shit about our world. That fact scares me. And it should scare every single person out there. Our species is so far from the noble, spiritual, compassionate, worldly and environmentally knowledgeable human beings that we once were that we have become something different all together. We have become self absorbed, clueless, consumption hungry monsters. Open your fucking eyes people. Stop shying away.... you want to have a great happy life? Trust me, in the next 10 years we are definately not headed in the happy direction. Disaster is more the term I would use. It is going to take a lot of work to get this world back where nature intended it to be so start to get involved, and as we are nature also.... well, maybe you should work on yourself a little too. Do something worth wile for a change, that doesn't include getting trashed every second weekend and buying 3 pairs of new shoes tomorrow. I am sorry if I have offended anyone. I am tired of playing nice though. I need real people to help me in this world full of real issues. Let's make a difference. Do everything you can to spread some change and hope. It only takes an angry post like this (or a positive one also) to possibly make someone at least question their day to day life. I have been questioning many things in my life. It is not easy to admit wrong or realize that you need to change, but it is essential to our human survival, both physically and spiritually. It all starts with education. Go to www.freedocumentaries.org

Hit the road Jack.

See ya,
Bon Voyage...
Ta ta!
Ciao.
Get lost.
About time you left my mind.
You are finally gone.
For now and forever,
Isn't that what we used to say?
Funny... I didn't even write that on purpose.
It has taken me this long,
to realize YOU lost out. NOT me.
And I am so very happy THANKS.
It is the dawn of a new age.
One without your face.
One without the memories of you.
The stupid memories...
Filled with my stupid naivety.
And the naivety... just filled with my stupidity.
And the stupidity all summed up in my missing you.
My missing you meant being emotionally unfaithful...
to myself and the ones I have loved since.
The summer before last,
that experience, it just makes me cringe.
And makes me wonder...
What the hell did I expect?
That you were even a sprinkling of the same person?
That I was?
That love lost would become love refound?
At least I finally tried.
And at least I finally learned.
What it is like to feel my skin crawl;
what it is like to truly lose you.
Because the you I remember faded a long time ago.
We were young... we were stupid...
and I was just plain blinded.
Blinded by something amazing.
But something that will never again be.
It is gone....
the love was gone a long time ago.
It just took me this long to finally realize it.
I didn't want to let go, because so long ago,
I let it all define me.
But that is not who I am.
It is not who I have grown to be.
It is not who I have worked so hard to love.
It's ME I love. NOT YOU!
You, the you that you are now... I could never love.
Never again. Bye-bye!
Hit the road Jack.
fUCKING ENOUGH ALREADY.

Big plans.

I've got some big plans for the year to come. Each year has been better than the last. They lie when they say "highschool years are the best years of your life." Who the hell is 'they' anyways. 'They' don't have a clue. My life just keeps getting bigger and better as the years go on. I love my life, and I am just plain excited and happy to be alive. This past year has taught me so many valuble lessons. Many lessons were difficult to learn, but worth the effort. I have been to many places too: both spiritually and literally. I gladly walk into a new era of my life. One filled with even more beauty, fun, happiness and learning.

Follow me

Follow me my love
Follow me
Below the deep blue sea
Follow me, just follow me...

Follow me my love
Follow me
Onto the golden sahara sands
Follow me, please follow me...

Follow me my love
Follow me
Down the snow white alps
Follow me, oh follow me...

Follow me my love
Follow me
Deep into the amazonian jungle
Follow me, just follow me...

Follow me my love
Follow me
Above the bouncy cumulous clouds
Follow me, please follow me...

Follow me my love
Follow me
Between each perfect star
Follow me, oh follow me...

Follow me my love
Follow me
Under our winter duvet
Follow me, just follow me...

Follow me my love
Follow me
You won't be disapointed
If you follow me....

I own it.

I have blamed the world for everything that I own,
but what I own is on my shoulders alone.

I have fought with every lesson I've learned in life...
what I have finally learned is that life is filled with strife.

I have worried every singe day about my future,
but nothing in this world is sure.

The only beauty in life is along the way.
So I must remember to enjoy each and every day.

When I think about.....

Just as I feel
things will finally be okay
a surprise lurking around the corner
jumps in my way

Just as I feel
you truly are the one for me
a new doubt fills my heart and eyes
once again I see

Just as I feel
that the old memories are gone
they crawl back in front of my face
again I feel spun

Just as I feel
we are a team in every way
I realize that truly I am on my own
that's all I have to say

Just as I feel
that we can conquor our fears
that the world is ours if we stick together
back come the tears

No really... save yourself!

"Nature will heal itself and be fine, because the Earth has all the time in the world... we (as humans) on the other hand don't." That is a quote from the new environmental documentary 'The 11th Hour.' I encourage everyone to watch this well thought out/researched movie, about the destruction we as humans have caused to our home: Planet Earth. One reason I believe this movie is so great is the fact that it stressed the human connection with our planets destruction. Now I don't actually mean that we are destroying the planet (which we are...); I mean the connection that if we destroy this planet we actually destroy ourselves too. We as humans, literally have our own fate in our hands. We are part of nature... not separate. If nature is devastated/destroyed beyond the point of healing.... so too are we. We do not live in little bubbles called "cities" or "towns" or "homes." We live on THIS PLANET, that happens to be able to sustain life. What we do each year, week, hour, day, minute, second...... effects this entire giant ecosystem. "Our world is seamless......." Do your own little part. Recycle, make your home more energy efficient, ride your bike to work, get involved in your community, get involved in an organization, educate yourself. No matter how small of a change you make, it counts! And each small change is just a stepping stone to a bigger and better change. We no longer have any excuse to put this off. We literally are running out of time. The facts are in, and they are just plain scary. Stop ignoring or denying the truth... just take some action. Helping to save the planet, is really helping to save yourself.

ILLUSION CONFUSION

Illusion Confusion
A mask with an iron finish
Pull off the mask
It slithers away
A serpant in the Garden of Eden
Layer under layer
Tear each one off
A deja-vu for you
In each costume revealed
Filthy and sinking
Like the one before

City Stars

stars in the city are few and far between
if you are looking above
but on the street where glass has been shattered
stars are in abundance
turn your headlights on
point them towards the disaster
and ouila!
stars are once again in your sight
sometimes you just have to look down rather than up

Letting Go...

A letter to myself:
I am letting go of everything I have held onto in the past..... I am letting go of all the bad. I am letting go. Letting go. Letting go. Goodbye sadness, goodbye pain, goodbye anger. You are gone. I am new and bright. Hello me.... it has been a long journey. I am so glad to have you back on this path. It has been over 11 years since I have seen you last. You still look the same though.... a little older, a little wiser, a little prettier, a little happier but still me. I missed you, but I knew you would find your way back. I have let go of the barriers. It is all uphill from here.
Luv me
always

My shoulders finally feel lighter......

This is my year. Can I say it again?? THIS IS MY YEAR! I can not describe how much happiness I feel. I feel it from the tips of my toes up to my nose. I have made huge progress in my life... in my mind and in my soul this year (and it is only yet February). My shoulder's are beginning to release all burdens. My shoulder's feel lighter. I could fly! Anything is possible. Anything can happen.... I can make anything happen. Life just keeps going up from here.... soon I will be in the clouds, wearing my own halo of good luck.

Random act of poetry

In the night I sleep
I see my dreams
More vivid then when I awake
I see my dreams
Of the dreams I dream
During each monotonous day
The dreams I dream
Come true once again
Each dusk when the moon wakes
When I lay in my bed
My sweet dreams head
And my world's sun re-awakes
Once my eyes close
I reopen them in surprise
And under my dreams disguise
I become the person I said
Each night I sleep
When I lay down my head
I dream of tomorrow once again
Until the dawn calls my name
My sweet dreams remain
More vivid then when I awake
I dream my dreams
of the things I see
And I dream myself away
to the dreams I see
Each night I sleep