My experience so far with this challenge has been surprising and more difficult than I anticipated. Until now, I have not realized how much I actually do look at myself in any mirror or reflective surface. It embarrasses me to admit this, but I promised to be completely honest when recapping my challenge experiences.
Day one of the challenge was relatively easy because it was so new. In the morning I did my usual routine. Once I was dressed, polished and looking satisfactory... I blew a little kiss goodbye to my mirror image. I then turned around all of the mirrors in my house. That day I did catch myself peeking in mirrors on several occasions. Each time, once I realized that I was breaking one of the challenge rules, I internally scolded myself. It felt like a little addiction I needed to break. An addiction of vanity. Not a big deal right?
Day two was drastically more difficult. The reason being that I woke up with a giant cold sore! I admittedly looked in the mirror intentionally but sneakily at the same time. I was almost attempting to hide my purposeful dismissal, of my own rules, from myself. It felt somewhat bizzare and cheap. Not looking in the mirror to see if my cold sore had grown to the size of a small tumor was almost physically painful. The times when I did look in the mirror, I felt immediate guilt.
Day three was a little better. In the morning, I did take a few glimpses at my cold sore, and I also put on mascara while looking in the mirror... but I scolded myself after (despite the fact that I did it knowingly and intentionally). Jordan asked me if I looked in the mirror almost immediately after I walked out of the bathroom and I quickly lied with a firm "no." As soon as I did this guilt forced me to look him in the eyes and tell the truth. I said "actually, yes." He started to laugh and replied: "Oh, you were going to lie to me?" in a teasing tone. The truth is... I was lying to myself more than to Jordan. After this little incident I then decided to be more true to my challenge for the rest of that day. As I stepped outside to my car that morning, I almost looked in the glass reflection of the drivers side door. Luckily I caught myself in time. The interesting part about this is: when I turned my head to the side, in order to avoid my reflection, I noticed some beautiful cloud formations in the sky. I would have missed that beautiful view otherwise. It makes me wonder, what other beautiful sights I have missed in my life while I was too busy staring at myself? I think this realization was a breakthrough.
Day four went well. It feels like my vanity addiction is starting to be broken. It is definitely getting easier to avoid my reflection. I am noticing much quicker each time I attempt a sneak peak. I did catch myself fluffing my hair while using the shadow of myself on the wall as a visual cue last night, but a small breach of my challenge in comparison to two days before. This morning I have not been nearly as tempted to look in the mirror. I am guessing day five will go smoothly. Unless of course a new shipment of clothing has come into my workplace. I may be tempted to try the new threads on, in front of one of the many mirrors in the shop.
All in all, this challenge has been quite an interesting experiment. I have already learned that I am more vain than I originally thought. Maybe, deep down, I already knew this.... and chose this as my first challenge to expose myself?
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