Deep NOT Cheap

Talk that is. 

This challenge has encouraged an interesting perspective.  While I have not been completely self silenced, I HAVE been more aware of my own actions (in relation to talking about myself).  Already it has become internally obvious to me when (and why) I high-jack conversations.  This is a much needed lesson.

I love to talk.  I deeply enjoy deep conversations.  This is in gratitude to Becky Foreman.  My best friends' mother, who recently passed away.  I spent much of my childhood life at their home.  A lot of time.  Many hours, many after schools, many weekends, many sleep overs.  In the mornings, Bree slept in late, whilst I woke up early.  My initial attempts to wake my sleeping beauty friend were consistently thwarted by her stubborn sleepy-head stay-in-bed attitude.  To combat my boredom, I would head downstairs to their living room, where I knew Becky would be awake reading.  Every morning, a conversation was magically pulled from thin air, and nearly every time, it would be meaningful.  I learned from the age of six, that I had thoughts, opinions and feelings that COUNTED.  My words were equally important as an adults'.  I was taught that a deep conversation can be created between two minds of any age.  Becky always talked to me as if I were a PERSON.... not a child.  There was no judgement.  One day, this is how I plan to converse with my children.

This challenge has not been easy.  Not at all.  Awareness is the path this lesson has laid out for me so far.

The last three evenings have been spent in deep conversation with my roommate.  We have talked until the early morning hours.  About:  life, love, choices and dreams.  I have chosen to ignore this challenge on those evenings.  Sometimes our challenge in life is just to let go.  Go with the flow.  A deep conversation, the type that reminds you of how very ALIVE you are, is not something that the universe brings about daily.  I think the questions posed and thoughts pondered were necessary for my life now.  My challenge has taken a turn for the better.  I LISTENED as much as I talked....    

Every second of those late night expression sessions, I was fully aware.  When I have noticed my high-jacking routine begin to flourish, I have consciously stopped it's bloom.  Being aware is helping me to stop my habitual conversation hogging and allow any conversations to flow more naturally.  I need more deep conversation in my life and this challenge is the path to accomplishment.  Learning to curb my attention addiction is encouraging better human connections between me and my friends.  My amygdalea (singular: amygdala) are growing more solid connections too!  *Note:  this part of the brain performs primary/key roles in the development of emotional learning, social interaction and emotional intelligence :)

I will take deep talk over cheap talk any day.  This challenge has it's own evolution, just as I do.